My favorite method for getting a big brown angry-the Happy Hopper (add buckteeth for the rare but occasional peaceable ones).
- Call him a brownie.
- Insult his mother. Start with these: Your momma's so stupid she got outsmarted by a cutthroat and Your momma's so ugly she couldn't get a crayfish to breed with her.
- During spawning season yell something like “call that a hookjaw? My goldfish has a bigger beak than that.”
- Accuse him of being a vegetarian.
- Toss a happy hopper his way like the one pictured above, just make sure the smiles big enough to insult his machismo.
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